This Florida Keys iconic wedding film maker committed a major crime. She missed her brothers’ wedding. Seriously?! Missing your brothers big day is a kick in the gut. The first morning knowing we’d never get to see him marry a girl we all really love? It was a crusher. The solution: take the this sad sorry little broken heart on a journey of understanding why. The one moment in my little bros life, and I couldn’t be there. Is it forgivable?

DOWN & DISAPPOINTED?

All of us were down and disappointed. I was heading to find a moment in which I could address my anger and heartbreak to the wind. And add a few salty teardrops to the ocean. Alone. Getting away from your routine is sometimes the one tiny act of defiance, not going home to the house to clean, tidy, edit a photo shoot, film, produce. It works: even little thing like breaking schedule is good for the soul. Where you say to the world and no one in particular “Give me a moment here!”

WHALE HARBOR MARINA WHERE SCREAMS COME THROUGH

I’m lucky to have a long, approximately 200 miles of coastline, to choose a place from which to scream. I stopped at Whale Harbor Marina. With the camera, of course. I screamed at the wind right along with the seagulls who were having a really tough time staying airborne. Seagulls who can’t stay airborne, equals hungry seagulls. Grief and loss? I’m ok, really. The cure: to laugh whilst crying, screaming and shooting photos. And reminding myself why we couldn’t go. The kids too. They were super down. Here is the gallery of that screaming moment. And the clouds cleared later:) “Im not a bad person for missing my brothers wedding. Who am I kidding? Why we didn’t go: the non revenue wasn’t working: we look at last minute seat availability and the flights were full. The cost of revenue tickets and trains and car rentals was prohibitive added to a daughter starting college. The two days of travel just to get to Tuscany, during the first two weeks of the school year. For six of us! For two days of wedding. Then turn around and come back. We were going all in and had the travel plan and car rentals all set up. One thing we couldn’t control was that the flights were full for standby/non revenues. Leading up to the date I frequently saw super cheap $398 Italy round trip ticket deals…I though about buying those tickets but they doubled when we added our specific dates. He hasn’t spoken to us since. Missing the moment your bro gets hitched ranks with getting busted speeding. Same sort of feeling of dread. You know you did something against the family expectations. Except the emotional fine incurred isn’t fixed by dollars.

WHALE HARBOR MARINA